Day 9: Reconnecting…

5,204 days. 90 days. 8 days.

Three months. It doesn’t seem like so long, but it is. I spent the day with friends. Safe in the knowledge that they had my back, and I could turn into a blubbering mess and I’d be okay. I still miss you, but I’m glad you don’t hurt anymore. I love you, Mama.

I talked about you. About us. Today. I didn’t cry. I’m not sure how I feel about that. It was good talking about you and remembering the fun times, but there is still a hole where my heart once was. I still miss you. I still need you. I don’t know if I will ever move past that, but today, for a few hours, I could talk about you with friends, and feel your presence without the constant pain. I’ll take that small win.

You still have my heart.